Tats wat they teach now a days...Haiz..

> > >Funny Bahasa Malaysia
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> > >Murid : Selamat pagi, cikgu.
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : (Menengking) Mengapa selamat pagi sahaja?
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> > > Petang dan malam awak doakan saya tak selamat?
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> > >
> >
> > >Murid : Selamat pagi, petang dan malam cikgu!
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> > >
> >
> > >Cikgu : Panjang sangat! Tak pernah dibuat oleh
> >
> > > orang! Kata selamat sejahtera! Senang dan penuh
> >
> > > bermakna.Lagipun ucapan ini meliputi semua
> >
> > > masa dan keadaan.
> >
> > >
> >
> > >Murid : Selamat sejahtera cikgu!
> >
> > >
> >
> > >Cikgu : Sama-sama, duduk! Dengar sini baik-baik.
> >
> > > Hari ini cikgu nak uji kamu semua tentang perkataan
> >
> > > berlawan. Bila cikgu sebutkan perkataannya,
> >
> > > kamu semua mesti menjawab dengan cepat, lawan bagi
> >
> > > perkataan-perkataan itu, faham?
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> > >
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> > >Murid : Faham, cikgu!
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : Saya tak mahu ada apa-apa gangguan.
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> > >
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> > >Murid : (senyap)
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : Pandai!
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> > >
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> > >Murid : Bodoh!
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : Tinggi!
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> > >
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> > >Murid : Rendah!
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : Jauh!
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> > >
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> > >Murid : Dekat!
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : Keadilan!
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> > >
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> > >Murid : UMNO!
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : Salah!
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> > >
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> > >Murid : Betul!
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : Bodoh!
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> > >
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> > >Murid : Pandai!
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : Bukan!
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> > >
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> > >Murid : Ya!
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : Oh Tuhan!
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> > >
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> > >Murid : Oh Hamba!
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : Dengar ini!
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> > >
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> > >Murid : Dengar itu!
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : Diam!
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> > >
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> > >Murid : Bising!
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : Itu bukan pertanyaan, bodoh!
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> > >
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> > >Murid : Ini ialah jawapan, pandai!
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : Mati aku!
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> > >
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> > >Murid : Hidup kami!
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : Rotan baru tau!
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> > >
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> > >Murid : Akar lama tak tau!
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : Malas aku ajar kamu!
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> > >
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> > >Murid : Rajin kami belajar cikgu!
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : Kamu gila!
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> > >
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> > >Murid : Kami siuman!
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : Cukup! Cukup!
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> > >
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> > >Murid : Kurang! Kurang!
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : Sudah! Sudah!
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> > >
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> > >Murid : Belum! Belum!
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : Mengapa kamu semua bodoh sangat?
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> > >
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> > >Murid : Sebab saya seorang pandai!
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : Oh! Melawan!
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> > >
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> > >Murid : Oh! Mengalah!
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : Kurang ajar!
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> > >
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> > >Murid : Cukup ajar!
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : Habis aku!
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> > >
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> > >Murid : Kekal kami!
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : O.K. Pelajaran sudah habis!
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> > >
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> > >Murid : K.O. Pelajaran belum bermula!
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : Sudah, bodoh!
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> > >
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> > >Murid : Belum, pandai!
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : Berdiri!
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> > >
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> > >Murid : Duduk!
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : Saya kata UMNO salah!
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> > >
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> > >Murid : Kami dengar KeADILan betul!
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> > > >
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> > >Cikgu : Bangang kamu ni!
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> > >
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> > >Murid : Cerdik kami tu!
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : Rosak!
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> > >
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> > >Murid : Baik!
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : Kamu semua ditahan tengah hari ini!
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> > >
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> > >Murid : Dilepaskan tengah malam itu!
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> > >
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> > >Cikgu : (Senyap dan mengambil buku-bukunya keluar.)
> >

Explaining Sex by PCK.

> > > Phua Chu Kang ( PCK ) explaining sex to
> > > > Chu Beng's son, Aloysius ...
> > > >
> > > > Aloy : Why is making love so
> > > > enjoyable ?
> > > > PCK : Aiyah, ah boy, enjoyable
> > > becaws,
> > > > same like when you dig your nose
> > > > with your finger mah !
> > > > -------------------------------------
> > > --
> > > > -------------------------------------
> > > --
> > > > ------------
> > > > Aloy : Do you think women enjoy sex
> > > > more
> > > > than men?
> > > > PCK : Of course woman lah ! When you
> > > > dig
> > > > dig your nose, your nose feel
> > > > better than your finger, right ?
> > > > -------------------------------------
> > > --
> > > > -------------------------------------
> > > --
> > > > ------------
> > > > Aloy : Why do women hate it when they
> > > > get raped ?
> > > > PCK : Ai-yah ! Say, you walk along
> > > the
> > > > load(road),den someone come over
> > > > and dig your nose, you like or
> > > > not ? Ehhh ? Don't pray pray ah
> > > > -------------------------------------
> > > --
> > > > -------------------------------------
> > > --
> > > > ------------
> > > > Aloy : Why is it a woman cannot have
> > > > sex
> > > > when she is having her menses?
> > > > PCK : Oy !! If your nose bleeding,
> > > you
> > > > still go and dig meh?? Siao ah !Use
> > > > your Blain(brain), use your
> > > > blainnn ..........
> > > > -------------------------------------
> > > --
> > > > -------------------------------------
> > > --
> > > > ------------
> > > > Aloy : Why is it most men don't like
> > > > wearing condoms when they are making
> > > > love?
> > > > PCK : Ehhhh, when you dig your nose
> > > ah,
> > > > you like to dig with a glove
> > > > on your finger or not ? Not
> > > > the same shiok feeling mah. Corlight
> > > > (correct) or not?
> > > > -------------------------------------
> > > --
> > > > -------------------------------------
> > > --
> > > > ------------
> > > > Aloy : Why is making love carried out
> > > > in
> > > > private ?
> > > > PCK : Ah boyyyyy, use your blain, use
> > > > your blainnnnn . you go and dig your
> > > > nose in flont of your whole
> > > > class izit ?? Stupid lah!!
> > > > -------------------------------------
> > > --
> > > > -------------------------------------
> > > --
> > > > ------------
> > > > Aloy : Wah ...... Uncle Chu Kang, you
> > > > are very good.
> > > > PCK : Aiyah ...... best in Singapore
> > > > and
> > > > JB, and some say Batam also ah !!!
> > > > -------------------------------------
> > > --
> > > > -------------------------------------
> > > --
> > > > ------------
> > > >
> > > > Get it nt..haha, like PCK!!
> > > >
> > > > Pass it around...giv them a big laugh
> > > > out loud!!

Wats ur Name..?Hmm...

Jokes on Names ...
Enjoy!
Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan (anyone) ?
Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.

Caller: No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!

Operator: You are talking to someone! Who is this?

Caller: I'm Sam Wan (someone) and I need to talk to Annie Wan! It is urgent.

Operator: I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone, but what is this urgent matter about?

Caller: @#$... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noel Wan (no one) was involved in an accident. Noel Wan got injured and now Noel Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan (everyone) is on his way to the hospital.

Operator: Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!

Caller: You are so rude! What is your name?

Operator: I am Saw Lee (sorry)!

Caller: Yes! You should be sorry. Now give me your name!!!